The more I hate the Yankees, the more they hate me. Or so it seems.

First of all, last night. It was November 4, it was the Night the D-Backs Won. It would always be the Night the D-Backs won. But now, because they're the Yankees, everyone will remember it as the Night the Yankees Ended Their "Drought". People will forget the D-Backs, because no one in New York other than me ranks the D-Backs higher in their rememberances than they do the Yankees. So of course they went ahead and stole that night. Okay, they steal money, they steal players, they steal the world series, they steal bases. They even steal one another's stuff! But stealing our night? The D-Backs were already linked to the Yankees with that, now it's like we're just another footnote in the pages of YANKEES ALL THE TIME ZOMG WE ARE SO COOL.

Secondly, overnight my whole became a Yankee fan: literally half the people I saw were wearing Yankees gear. Jerseys, hats, t-shirts, jackets, sweatpants...it was Yankees Central. I have never seen most of these people show any sign that they were Yankee fans before: it was just a cruel reminder before they start shouting, "27! 27! 27!" when they know nothing about baseball. Bandwagoners annoy me so much...

Thirdly, guess where the stupid parade route goes by? City Hall. Guess how far away from City Hall my school is? A few avenues. Guess who is going to be unable to get to the subway after school tomorrow?

Ah, well. The Angels wasted no time in re-signing El Comedulce.

And it looks a lot like Billy will be in our rotation in 2010: Yusmeiro Petit got claimed off of waivers by the Seattle Mariners. Also, we declined Chad Tracy's options and let the Nats claim Doug Slaten...

It's good to know we're at least up to something.

On this day eight years ago, my D-Backs brought their home state of Arizona its first, and to date only, professional sports championships. The D-Backs look pretty cool compared to the rest of the big four in their state--no championship trophies for those guys. But I'm not here to talk about Kurt Warner or anything.

Oh, no.

A few days ago, I rewatched game 7 on my iPod, and it was magical. It was brilliant. They caught Paul O'Neill trying to make his double into a triple and then Schill shut down the Yanks for a while after that. The D-Backs did nothing either, because the Roid Rocket was pitching at 97 MPH, and at least they looked better at the plate than he did--they didn't twirl around when they swung.

And then the Yanks get up on Soriano's homer-that-shouldn't-have been and somewhere it kinda rained a little, and they didn't close the roof because it would have taken too long. So they were ahead and we were in trouble and then Schill had to get out and Brenly called him his hero, and he did pitch a hell of a game. But then it was time for a specialist and then in came RJ.

RJ would have made a great closer. I mean, he was a great starter, no question, he still does get brilliant fairly often. But just think. All six feet and ten inches of him, throwing fastballs that went right by you--kapow! Well, he outpitched Mo in that game.

Because then after RJ was cool and lights-out, the D-Backs got real lucky. Mo Rivera made a throwing error. See, that's the irony of the situation. Mo blew this WS save by throwing crooked, but the D-Backs' closer blew a couple of games because he threw the ball straight down the middle.

But this was the one game that counted, and Mo threw crooked and it was all good to go on Damian Miller's bunt. And then a few batters later, it was tied. And then the bases were loaded with one out, and Gonzo hit the ball in the right spot, and after that run crossed: I have never seen Curt Schilling run so fast ever.

Of course, that team eventually separated, as teams are wont to do even if they are not the Florida Marlins. But where are they now? Are any of them still playing?

Yes.

Okay, there are obvious non-players such as Gonzo the executive, BK the restarautier, Schill, who's a blogger now, and Gracie and Matt Williams, who are announcers for the D-Backs. But some of them are still playing, none for AZ, and they've pretty much scatttered:

RJ has found his calling as a reliever in SF, helping out the very good Giants bullpen. He managed to get the best of the D-Backs in several meetings this year.

Rod Barajas, backup catcher in 2001, had a good year for the Blue Jays as an everyday player. He didn't leave Arizona until a few years ago, actually, and he went to Philly first before coming to Toronto.

Craig Counsell, NLCS MVP, somehow managed to slam 8 triples at the age of 39 for the Brew Crew this year, despite getting caught stealing more than he reached safely--which was only 3 times.

If any others are still playing, they aren't doing anything that has caught my eye. But it just goes to show how much baseball cycles through only 8 years. Or something like that.

But anyway, happy anniversary, guys! 

Okay, Brett Myers isn't exactly a great guy, not personable, not a hall of famer, I get that.

But there's a rather...incriminating wave of fan comments in on a certain article that I'm not going to link to. Find it and poison your eyes if you really gotta. Myers says to Hamels, "What are you doing here, I thought you quit?" and the fans start hating on Myers.

Do these people forget that for the past few years, Myers has been the opening day starter? I don't care if Hamels was injured this year, I don't care how bad the Phils used to be--last 3 years they won the freaking division, even if they were handed it on a silver platter in 07 by the flailing Metropolitans. But come on. These guys are saying how wonderful Hamels is, how evil Myers is, how Hamels beats him any day in any situation, how without Hamels Myers wouldn't have a WS ring, blah blah blah.

All this because Myers had the balls to say what those fans had probably been thinking?

Please. Sometimes you have to open your mouth and say what needs to be said, and this is one of those situations. Hamels is the golden boy, and if you say something bad about him people condemn you as a loser or an angry fanatic who thinks he's supposed to be Cy Young or something. Poor Cole, he was injured, he can't help it, he's only 25.

Sure, it's been a long year. But if he was INJURED at the beginning, then it was shorter than everyone else's. When you do badly, worse than expected, whatever--you get back to work and try harder. You want it to end but that's not the kind of thing you say at random to a press conference. Do you? You wait until AFTER THE WORLD SERIES IS OVER or AFTER YOU'VE USED UP ALL YOUR CHANCES. Hamels has not, by far, had the toughest year of any Phils pitcher.

Pedro Martinez did well for the Dominican Republic in the WBC, but his team got knocked out by the Netherlands. But Pedro labored away in the Dominican, waiting for his chance. Oppurtunity finally knocked and he took his chance and tried hard every time. Sure, he's a nutcase, but he doesn't complain when he does badly. He just shrugs and says the Yankees are his daddy or something.

Jamie Moyer is the oldest player in baseball right now. He hits guys in the head with his 70-mph fastball and is way past his glory days. He's had a long career, he's separated from his family in Florida, he had a horrible year this year. He got moved to the bullpen when Martinez came up, and he worked away. And he got left off the WS roster. Is he complaining? No. He's thankful that he's gotten to play a kid's game for a career until he's 46, made a lot of money and can support his family.

Brad Lidge has been miserable. After his phenomenal perfect Cy Young worthy year last year, he didn't come close at all to anything resembling that. His ERA ballooned, he blew a zillion saves, he got demoted, and he blew a world series game. He doesn't complain either--he's just thankful that he's still on the roster and Manuel still gives him chances.

So, Mr. Myers, you are not a hero, you are not an ace, but you know that you are playing a kid's game and you know Hamels doesn't appreciate it. Maybe you don't, either, but you call him out on it.

And Mr. Hamels, you can't complain. You have hundreds of kids wearing jerseys with your name across the back, everyone in America knows who you are, you have a gaudy ring to wear on your finger, and you've got years in baseball ahead of you. And maybe you're disgusted with yourself, maybe you're tired, but you've got money and you've got talent and you've got freedom and you've got a dream job and you should consider yourself extra-lucky that these fans have your back no matter what you say.

Yesterday, the skies opened up and destiny streamed through like chiaroscuro in an old painting and it was the D-Backs' bullpen that reaped the benefits.

First off, what you probably don't know: Clay Zavada is the recipient of the Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year. That's right. A D-Back won something, something prestigious that is not decided by idiotic sportswriters! He beat out Sully, the only hero to pass through this illustrious river called the Hudson this year.

I am astounded. Amazed. Ecstatic.

So what if we bombed the season? There's still a bright spot.

Of course, then there are shadows, creepy shadows, that pull you up and in like a fastball, and that is the shadow of a man ruthlessly whipped around by the 2001 Yankees: Byung-Hyun Kim, current sushi proprietor. I'm sure he's wincing as he watches the WS and watches Brad Lidge get tossed around in the same manner. Or maybe he's sighing in relief, so to speak, that he isn't the only closer to get roughed up by the Yanks--and you don't need the initials of a fast-food joint to do so. But exactly eight years after BK blew the save at old Yankee Stadium, Lidge blew the save at Citizens' Bank Park. (Interestingly enough, Lidge in 2004 and Kim in 2001 are two out of the only three pitchers ever to record back-to-back postseason 2-inning saves.)

So the shadows came out and of course it would be the NL closer who choked, because that's how it always is. Is this destiny, this day of November 1st? These blown saves? Or is it just a coincidence that the only two NL closers to pitch on that day were not great under pressure and blew it?

We shall see.

Everyone's making a huge deal out of the whole Mr. November thing, and I can't blame them. I watched the highlight thing twice. It's actual Tino Martinez footage! It's the purple D-Backs uniforms! It's old Yankee Stadium!

So Derek Jeter's month is ushered in, and perhaps he can perform up to standards. Perhaps not. But when I watched that, I didn't realize that the WS had been pushed back a week because of 9/11 and that was why it was so late in the year. But...it's pretty amazing.

Doesn anyone else remember it? I mean, of course you remember it, it's the world series, but does anyone else remember it well? Obviously, I wasn't allowed to stay up that late, I was seven, but I remember my sister excitedly telling me about it the next day. It was the first person to bat in November, it was *Derek*, and he hit a home run! The Yankees won!

Which is about the extent to which I remember it.

But people forget that there are three other men who are to thank/blame for Mr. November's title: Tino Martinez, Bob Brenly, and Byung-Hyun Kim.

Obviously it's still a huge clutch performance, a great thing, and I am not trying to diminish that.

But people forget. They forget who tied the game in the ninth: Martinez. He did so with a two-run homer. Without Martinez, the D-Backs would have won and Jeter would not have had the oppurtunity to hit. And if Bob Brenly had not left in Kim after that first homer, then would another reliever have given up the second one? Perhaps, perhaps not.

And that's where the World Series is dependent on luck. No, the Yankees did not win that WS, but if one tiny thing had been changed then that game might have turned out differently. If Martinez hat not launched that ball, if Brenly had been cautious, if Kim had thrown that pitch just a tad differently...

But they didn't and it happened and Mr. November was made.

What if Brenly had managed much differently...say, Joe Girardi-style? Would he have won the series still? What if Martinez had slumped? Would the Yankees have gotten that far? What if Jeter had hit a double instead of a homer? Would he have scored? What if it took him a few more innings and he came up again, would he have hit the homer then? Would he still be Mr. November?

What if 9/11 had not happened? Would the Yanks be as fueled to win, would they have all that motivation from their city? Would something else have happened to push the series back? Would Jeter still have hit a homer at 12:04 in the morning?

We will never know.

I prefer having the Yankees fans shout "26! 26! 26!" to "27! 27! 27!" so I'm not sure I really want to.

It was a close game. The defense and pitching were really what made the difference--it could have been high scoring if they weren't sharp. But they made good plays and kept cool where it really mattered. Quality starts on both sides, good relief, too.

But the Yankees won. Sadly. But the Phillies fans believe that this is not adversity (note: I can count the Phillies fans I know here on one hand) and that they can come back tomorrow. Cole Hamels is pitching! The great one! Last year's hero!

Who has not done so great this year. Of course, of course, injuries, cover jinx, whatever you want to blame it on. But it's a wild card vs. a wild card, both have been proven in previous postseasons. Fun. Interest. Like the last two games. Pretty even pitching matchups.

In the absence of the Diamondbacks, I have taken up listening to sports talk radio even when it's unbearable bad because there might be some mention of that hopefully nonexistent Drew trade or whatever, and so I've ended up listening to hockey...and I'm hooked on the New Jersey Devils.

I gotta say, last night was exciting. It was scary, but it was good and I just pose one question to you hockey fans: Why do the Devils do badly at home? They are perfect (including last night) on the road, but have won one game only at the Prudential Center. Why is this so? No one player in particular seems to do badly, nor do they all stick out as being significantly worse than usual. It's not even that the goalies let so much more in than usual. They aren't letting in like 5 goals or anything.

But...sports work in mysterious ways.

But back to baseball. Phils, Yanks, and all.

  Including this guy.

That's right, Cole Hamels. I drew him, his face looks a bit scary (probably because of the lack of color?) but it matches okay with his profile pic on the main page.

And so Cole, even if you don't win tomorrow no one expects you to. No pressure. Just go out there, pretend it's last year, you're invincible, Lidge is invincible, Utley isn't making any errors.

These guys you're facing: yeah, they're in the AL. So were the Rays. You beat the Rays. Why not these guys? Sure, they cost more, but what's money? You've got some, your teammates do, too, and your teammates have more Cy Youngs than the Yanks. Of  course, if Cy Young was synonym for championship the Giants would just display Randy Johnson on a pillar for the world to see, throw in a couple of other guys and their awards, and win the thing without trying. But you have Cliff, Pedro, and Brad who should have won the Cy last year. And don't forget the silver sluggers, MVPs, gold gloves, ROYs...well, it could take me forever to find out and at the end of the day I'm just too lazy. I'd say that the teams are about evenly matched in that regard, though I could be wrong. And honestly, what do sportswriters know?

Nothing. Right. I feel as if that's my catechism. I'm like Napoleon Bonaparte and forcing all of France to memorize these answers to these irrelevant questions. But wait...are any of my readers in France? From France? Have French ancestry? Related to Napoleon Bonaparte, who was actually Italian?

   Well, tomorrow is Halloween. Will Derek Jeter do his little Mr. November act again? Will the Devils beat the Lightning? Will Cole Hamels pitch well? Will Jimmy Rollins say something stupid again?

Are any of you dressing up? Please tell me if you are, and what you're being...crazy outfits are just too fun. I miss being able to trick-or-treat. Ah, well. Have fun, everyone!

So at about 10:00 last night I go into my room ready to study and lo and behold, I have a message waiting on my cell phone!

It is my best friend Harmony who is telling me all about how Cliff Lee is awesome. That's every other sentence, in fact. The message: "Hey, Caroline...Cliff Lee is awesome! He's pitching really good. We're whooping the yankees' @s$es. Well...okay, it's only 1-0, but we're winning! Oh, yeah, Cliff Lee is doing an amazing job. He is really amazing! I'm sorry I missed all your calls because I was being really nerdy and going to sleep at like 8. But I'm up tonight because I'm watching the WORLD SERIES!!! So if you call me back, I'll probably be watching the world series...did I tell you how amazing a job Cliff Lee is doing?"

And I wake up to the WFAN people telling me random stuff about the weather...and Cliff Lee gave up no earned runs in his CG.

No earned runs...

And he is God.

Well who is the Devil?

If you're a Yankee fan, it's anyone besides Derek Jeter.

If you're a Jets fan, it's as always Rex Ryan.

If you don't like the Pittsburgh Penguins, it's Sidney Crosby and his stupid hat trick.

If you're sick of hearing about him, it's Isaiah Thomas.

If you're a Phillies fan, it's whoever decided to put Ryan Howard on the cover of Sports Illustrated.

If you're Eli Manning, it's your foot problem that I'm not attempting to spell.

If you play for the Nationals, it's your contract.

Who's your devil?

And, just because it's the return of Pedro vs. the New York Yankees: who's your daddy?

But they did.

The Yankees used the Star Wars music: main titles for their roster, imperial march for the Phils. And now it's end credits for the Yankees' lineup.

I am bashing my head in because...uh, does Brian Bruney, former Dback, make the Yanks Jedi? Do Werth, Park, and Martinez make the Phils Sith? I really don't think so.

I know, I know, not the issue here. But stilll, it makes you wonder.

The Mets heavily favor Star Wars music, too. They play it a lot. Is this some baseball thing that this Star Wars nerd didn't know?

I mean, I knew Endy Chavez used the Imperial March as his walkup song (and maybe Damian Easley did too) and they've played the Star Wars theme before...

Perhaps it's just a New York thing.

Oh, who knows? If you do, DROP ME A LINE

There is a symphony called the "Pathetic Symphony". The title is in French. It is by Tchaikowsky. That is completely random, and though I have a transcribed-for-piano edition of the theme and finale I haven't tried playing it, but it doesn't look very pathetic.

Perhaps it's just Tchaikowsky's little joke or something.

Anyway, it's going to be pathetic and what not but here goes: The TYIB award noms are out and surprise surprise I don't really agree with lots of the nominations. But what do I know? I'm just a bored, procrastinating kid with a big mouth.

BUT since the actual award thingies (Cy Young, MVP, blah blah blah) are coming out in a few weeks (soon after the WS, right?) I will just dole out my own to who I feel is deserving. Which may not be very fair because there's no vote or anything, but you can't say the sportswriters are fair, either.

So...the Cici Pathetically Patented awards (complete with celebratory blingees) are:

AL CPP Best Pitching Performance: King Felix! When you are pitching against the scary Angels lineup  fairly often compared to most other starters, you're bound to have a gruesome ERA...right? Wrong. King Felix, while pitching for the woeful Mariners, managed to rack up 19 wins (tied for first in the majors) and have a 2.49 ERA. For one of the youngest pitchers out there, that's amazing, and considering he's top 5 in the league in the top 4 pitching categories? Not bad. Bow to the ruler, guys.

NL CPP Best Pitching Performance: Chris Carpenter had an outstanding season. 48 earned runs? That's ridiculous. That's scary. That's run-for-your-life evil. That's as wicked as Yankee Fans with their cackles of doom as they descend upon you because their team did better than yours. We all know that feeling, don't we? Unless I have several unknown Yankee fan readers who have chosen not to show themselves...

AL CPP Most Valuable: Adam Lind. This year was not a good one for the Jays: At one point, their entire starting rotation from opening day was on the DL, and only one or two of them made it back. They had to give in and release their overpaid, cringe-worthy closer BJ Ryan, and Travis Snider, the Next Big Thing, turned out to not be ready for the majors yet. Roy Halladay wanted to be traded, Alex Rios and Scott Rolen were traded, and starting in May the Jays kinda imploded. But Adam Lind was a beacon in that horrible season. Halladay's 100-pitch shutout was cool, Hill broke out of his shell, but behind those guys there was the very important DH/LF Adam Lind. 35 homers, 93 runs, and 114 RBI on a mediocre team. Considering he faced AL East pitching quite a lot? Not too shabby, Adam. Not at all.

NL CPP Most Valuable: You gotta hand it to Adam Wainwright. 233 innings without an error. 19 wins. Decent hitting, too. Say what you will about his teammates, but without Wainwright? The Cards go nowhere. Carpenter, Pujols, Holliday, and Molina don't go very far. Their division is always up for grabs, so it's pretty tough. It's also really crowded. But all those wins Wainwright gave the team are hard to find. It's a good year to play baseball if your name is Adam.

AL CPP Rookie: Do I know much about the AL? No. Will I try to make an educated guess? Sure. That's what this is all about. So I'll say Rick Porcello. I keep forgetting about him. I mean, I'm hearing about him but I forget he's a rookie. I think he's like Verlander's pal or something, the two of them have been anchoring Detroit for ages, even though that's totally not true. But he fits in with the big picture so well...(I apologize to Mr. Porcello and Mr. Verlander if they don't get along or something. Didn't mean to link the two of you together in any way. Sorry.)

NL CPP Rookie: I do know about the NL. Blah, blah, blah, JA Happ. I don't care about JA Happ. He's going to win the Sportswriters' ROY, so why should I comply to their "Let's choose a lucky guy on a good team" thing? Why not vote for a guy who I was so surprised was not nominated for a TYIB? Gerardo Parra, who's kinda like the NL Porcello. He blends right in with the team. His first at bat he slams a homer, and he just keeps on rolling. Decent bat, power on occasion, but can this guy play the outfield better than anyone else I saw all year? I think so. Granted, I did not see him live a lot, but I saw him on TV several times and you can't disguise great plays. Gerardo puts effort into everything and if he doesn't make the play he makes a quick recovery and doesn't let extra damage get done. That's cool, that's levelheaded, he's a pro not just another rookie. He doesn't give up even if his team loses (which they did quite a bit), he just keeps playing. Well, everyone does that, you say? Did you see the Mets in September? They were clearly going through the motions, all of them. Thole, Sullivan, Redding, Murphy, Wright, Castillo...And Gerardo Parra's team finished with a record that was exactly the same as that team.

Honorable Mentions:
AL-Aaron Hill, Mark Teixeira, Bobby Abreu, Zack Greinke, Ricky Romero, Mariano Rivera, any pitcher who hit a homer this year in his 1 or 2 games at bat.
NL-Dan Haren, Tommy Hanson, Justin Upton, Matt Cain, Orlando Hudson, Jayson Werth, Omir Santos, Ryan Zimmerman, Nick Johnson.

Well, it's not whether you win, lose, catch the ball, get hurt, or whatever: it's the way you play the game. Correct?

The National League doesn't have home advantage?
The NL is always worse than the AL?
The Angels/Yankees are the better team?

Oh, I think not.

The Phils are going to win, and there are actually a few reasons why:
They can capitalize on the other team's mistakes. The Yankees and Angels cannot--the Phils are more clutch. Nevermind Mr. November or El Comedulce, the Phillies all around are more clutch. They may not be especially known for their clutch skills, but they are more well-rounded. The Yanks and Angels are not.

The Phillies have better pitchers. Lackey, Sabathia, blah, blah blah, the Phillies are more well-rounded. After that first starter, who cound definitely best anyone in the AL (see 2008 Cy Young season), they've got choices: Martinez, who can go deep into games and keep the pitch count low but also get some key strikeouts. He's got playoff experience (see Red Sox, Mets) and is probably the most clutch guy on the team. Hamels, who can perform against the AL and even coming off a mediocre year could probably get the best of anyone besides the AL aces. Happ, who has been horrible out of the bullpen, is a good starter and almost definitely rookie of the year. Joe Blanton, who has pitched well in the AL before (see Oakland Athletics/pals with Nick Swisher) but isn't too clutch. Say what you will about the bullpen, but Charlie watches so carefully that he'll switch pitchers as often as he can. Probably not as often or as erratically as Joe Girardi, so if he faces the Yankees he will be overmatched in the overmanaging department.

The Phillies have been at home spending time with their families/watching the Flyers/chilling for a few days. The Yanks and Angels have been traveling, adjusting to the weather changes, etc etc. They'll be tired and they won't have too much momentum--they'll have battled really hard for this series and will need time to reload. Of course, the WS starts on Thursday, so they'll have had a break, but not as much of one.

The Phillies are more than just one dimensional. They have guys who can hit for average and power, guys who can hit and run well, guys who can hit and field well, guys who can pitch and hit, pitchers who can get strikeouts and groundouts...versatility is a key to winning championships. The Phillies have it, and it's one of the reasons they won last year.

And if they don't, well...the world series is based on luck, and they should have won, and I wouldn't mind settling for the NL pennant at all.